Help!?!?!?!?! in-law advice, please? (LONG!)?

My husband's mother-in-law is making me insane! And yes, I know that my husband's mother-in-law is my mom, thank you. That is why I am putting this out on y! answers. I know that she will not see it because she never gets online. I really need to vent. I would appreciate any suggestions that can get me and my kids out of the house. First of all, I do have to say that we are currently living with my parents so we can save up enough money for a down payment on a house. I appreciate my mom letting us stay here rent free, but I'm starting to wonder if it's really worth it. To start, my mother is a hoarder. If you have ever seen the show, she's not quite that bad, but only because she has people constantly cleaning and throwing stuff away. Se gets ticked off when we do clean and throw stuff away, btw. That, I have accepted. Moving on, my mother has no regard for others. She continues to disregard the rules that i have put in place for my kids. I do not allow my children to have milk or snacks right before dinner. This is so they will actually eat what is placed before them. Makes sense, right? Well, I thought so. Either my mom doesn't understand this concept or she doesn't care. Always breaking that rule. Anyway, as part of her hoarding, she refuses to properly load the dishwasher. She insists on cramming EVERY dish in the house in there and then shoving the door shut. The dishwasher was barely squeaking by until this week. She decided that the door to the dishwasher was just being stubborn. It couldn't be the crapload of dishes she had stuffed in there that was keeping the door from closing. Maybe if she just pushed a little harder.... And now we have no (working) dishwasher. She won't wash the dishes by hand, oh no. In fact, she is still putting stuff in there. I sometimes wonder if my mother is mentally incapacitated. So, the kitchen is filled with dishes despite the fact that my husband and I are spending every spare moment between; working, cleaning the rest of the house, cooking all the meals, and chasing our two kids; doing dishes. I can't talk to her without losing my temper, but my husband, wonderful man that he is, finally talked her into putting some money toward a new dishwasher. We will have to pay the majority of the bill, out of the money that is supposed to be going toward the house, but at least we will have clean dishes and one less thing to worry about. That is, until she breaks the new dishwasher, then, I might go beserk. This, among other things what is bothering me at this moment. I know she will not do anything differently, so I guess what I am asking is for suggestions on how to keep calm so we don't get kicked out. I will try anything at this point. Anything is appreciated, sorry so long.